In the Fire

Have you ever wonder what will happen if....? While, if the Lord is involved you can rest assure of two things 1.If you ask you will receive, and 2.It will not be in the way you expect.

About four months ago I realized I was entering a season of change. I was leaving a job that I had been at for 4 and a half years, I was about to be a full time mother for the first time, and I was running my own business which required me to lead others by example not words.

I asked the Lord to change me in this season, to better the person I was so that my life 100% reflected the love and workmanship of His hands. I am not really sure how I thought He was going to do that and maybe at the time I realized it would be painful, but at this current moment I do not recall having any of those realizations or thoughts. It could most likely be for the simple fact that if I knew it would involve pain, I most likely would have withdrawn the request.

Looking in the mirror is never easy and change requires sharpening and sharpening hurts. Let this be a warning, just as one prays for patience and receives trial, if you ask for change you will receive sharpening. I am grateful to know that God is at work even if it does require me to deal with emotion, and the realization that I have NOT been an example of His love to others. Not in a way that gives Him glory above self pity.

I would love to say that I have a reason as to why I acted in a certain way, or I said certain words, but I don't. All I can say if I am still a work in progress. A work in the fire. Right now I am directly over the heat and as you may imagine I feel it, but I also know this is the time where that person that I was, or those things that were holding me back from being the one God has called me to be, are being burnt off, smoothed out, and formed. Then He will place me in the water and let me cool so that when I come out I will not look the same as before, I will be made new.

As Christians we are made new many times in our lives and if we truly desire to bring Him glory we have to go through the fire. If you find yourself in the fire at this present time, or in the future, remember that you are being made new. And...there are many others in there with you.

As for this little one...I hold tight to my Father's hand without any idea what He is making me to be. But, I know it is better than what I am now and for that I will stay in the heat until He brings me out.

Reading between the lines...

I find many times as I am praying and seeking movement from the Lord, I am listening so hard that I miss what is being said. There are messages from the Lord all around me the question becomes, do I recognize them?

Recently my husband were speaking about what the Lord is doing in our business and in our family. Swaying back and forth for direction, asking the Lord to be clear. Then the day began...we were quickly over run with distraction. Multiple invitations for events all on the same do, children requiring guidance and cuddling. And then there is always the house right? Needless to say it became very cloudy pretty quickly in our day. We had asked the Lord to direct our day and help us to stay focus on what He had for us that day.

Enter distraction to keep from seeing the truth all around us. I must admit I am not overly proud of how quickly I get over run with the distreaction and discouraged because I feel like God just had another trial in store for us that day. Around 5 o'clock that evening my inside where stirring so much that I turned the music on and plugged my head phones in while I prepared dinner. All the songs were about what God had already done. I was hearing the words but I was not "hearing" the words.

It was shortly after dinner as I was cleaning up that put the music back on and Bryce, my 3 year old came up to me without stretched arms. I picked Him up and started dancing with him. As I stood there holding him in my arms I realized that for the past 2 months I have been with him full time. Soon after my husband had a meeting at our home and no one came...I saw all the work and effort he had put into being perpared and ready. He looked great, the set up was amazing, and there he sat disappointed at the response. And just when we were ready to clean it up 4 people arrived. I found myself upstairs playing with our son again realizing that 9 months ago Chris would not have done that meeting on his own.

Then it hit me, God spoke in the circumstances of our day. My children, our meeting, the phone calls, the invitations that were over whelming us, the music blarring in my ear. We have been focused on changing and being people who are seeking and following the Lord in all we do. Being 100% reliant on Him and now here we were and God was saying in such a soft LOUD way

"I have not left, I am not challenging you, I am changing you. I am blessing you with a newness that causes sharping. I have it all undercontrol, I just ask that you walk forward one step at a time and trust that I have already completed the task ahead. Love and dance with your children, they are only here for a little while. Be proud of your husband and his heart. STOP THE WORRY and know that you will never control this life if you want me to lead. Read between the lines Leah the message is always clear...."