Slowing Down to Speed Up...

Over the past year I have been preparing for a complete overhaul of my life. My husband and I made a conscious decision last year that for the sake of our families future things had to drastically change. We were going to have to take what others would see as "great risk" in order to secure a stable and fruitful future for our family.

This would mean starting a home business that would allow me to resign from my job in ministry, preparing to home school our oldest child, and prioritizing our relationship with one another and our children over those with others. This process at times has felt dramatic, but overall has been slow and gradual. Now a year later I am beginning to see that we had to, and still have to, slow down to speed up.

I am one who struggles with guilt. I always want to make sure that I am giving everything I can to each situation and role. I try to be a good friend, at times as a result I have sacrificed time with my husband and children by spending countless hours on the phone, and in the car. I want everyone one on our team to be successful and as a result at times have sacrificed our financial gain or security to do so. I want to be thankful and curious to those who have given the invitation to participate. Allowing others to lead out of respect when in the end their advice may have been harmful to those listening. Again time, energy....Was any of it really to the benefit of the ultimate goal? Was I truly honoring the Lord in my busyness?

These statements may seem harsh but they are a true reality of the experiences of our past year. There is always something good that comes from every opportunity given. The question is more, was the sacrifice worth it? That has been a mirror in my life lately. The truth is no sacrifice is worth it if the end sacrifice was my family. Their time, their security, their well being. They are bottom line the most important factor in every decision. Everything is in vain if it is not done to better those who hold the most value.

So as a result, I have had to slow down to speed up the quality of our life and the lives of our children. Some of the financial sacrifice have been taking our children to events they enjoy as a family. The smiles of two little boys as they bowled for the first time. Some of the time sacrifice is sitting and reading books instead of making or being available for phone calls. Not being involved in multiple groups and bible studies in order to give my kids quality time of education.

In the end I may not be seen as the best friend in the world. I will not have the fastest growing business, I may never hold the titles of team mom, most involved church member, best aunt or sister....but I know that my family will look back and remember my direct presence in their life and I believe above all of my roles, that is the highest calling the Lord has given me. There is always a time to give a little now to get more later, but not at the expense of those in trusted directly to you.

The Power of Influence

Recently I posted about being in the fire and how in the recent months I have had to take a long hard look in the mirror and then allow the Lord to refine me in the fire. As I go through this process I have reached, grabbed, searched for things that will challenge me. People who will push me. As well as wisdom from those whom I consider to have gone through this process as they grew in life.

As I began this process I realized we are what we hear, what we surround ourselves with, what we watch. Each situation we put ourselves in, is a choice to be influenced in a time when we are attempting to grow. Of course for me the journey began by seeking the Lord and the plans He had for my life. What type of person did he want me to be? Who did He have in store for me to influence on day. And better yet, was I ready to be a person of influence?

Was I in a state of mind and presence that would be a healthy and positive influence for those placed in my path? I began to realize each time I allowed myself to be in a place that was not going to bring out the best in me, I slipped a little. I began to realize that in order for this process to really take shape I was going to have to place myself in the right situation in order to begin pulling the greatness out that I truly believed God had placed inside me.

As I began to be conscious of my influences I began to see change. I began to hear the Lord's Challenge. I began to humble myself in a way of surrender I had never felt.

This is a constant process. A constant effort. But as I place myself around positive influence, I begin to GIVE positive influence to my children, to my husband, to my friends and team members....Am I perfect at it? Nope. As usual I am not a perfect individual and I have days that bring out the old in me. But it is a constant, daily, choice. A choice that even on the those days I still see and feel change.

Influence is a powerful thing. Allowing yourself to have positive influence around you will always bring you closer to the Lord for HE is the most positive influence of all.