Are you fighting or walking?

As many people are aware, I have a deep love of music. But even deeper than my love of music is my love of the Lord.I know truly my deep love for music was because of the way God would speak to me through the words of a song, and given the opportunity to give that to someone else, no matter how scary for me, I took the opportunity.

Moving to Georgia began a new journey for Chris and I six years ago. I believe for me it is a lot like Abram's journey to the time God would give him a son. Long, painful, moments of joy, but many, many lessons and questions. I participated a few times in the past six years in worship, but for the most part it has been silence. This is something I have struggled with but found comfort in believing it was not my time. God had other things for me to do. I could get angry and fight for my love of music and being a part of worship, but it's not my gift or talent to fight for. Instead it was going to be time for complete surrender to become the person that I so desperately want to be, and part of that surrender was silence.

Recently my husband told me that I should take up running again. Not because I need to loose weight or even be active, but because he noticed a daily peace when I would run. A peace that was found with worship music in my ears as I focused my mind on the Lord and ran through nothing but air, completly unaware of my surrounding, in utter peace and surrender with the Lord. It is in these times I am reminded that God is fighting for me. I do not have to fight and push but more, surrender and take the promise He has given and walk in it. Promise that written for all to see would me nothing to any of you but to bring great change. So I walk daily. No matter what it brings for in the end if I chose to walk in the Lord's promise that day, any conflict or discouragment will not compare to the joy and peace of knowing I am walking in the Lord's promise. And none of the difficulties and struggles will amount to anything, unless I allow it to steal my joy and peace. Because you see God does not take joy and peace, He gives it.

"My Peace I give you...Do no let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid" John 16:33

I have found great strength in daily surrender and reliance. And I have found great struggle in self reliance. I don't know about you but I need strength more than I need struggle. Will we always be in the dessert? Six months ago I would have responded with, I hope not, but now I can say with confidence, no. No we will not always be in the dessert, but while we are I will walk and stop fighting. With true confidence that God will fulfill his promise in our lives but in His time. So that others will know His great GLORY. Will I ever sing again in front of others? I don't know. But I know I have a deep desire to learn how to play the guitar, after 10 years of owning one. God is more than good friends, God is AMAZING and soverign. Walk in your struggles and leave the fight to the Lord. Use your gifts, your strengths, and your ability for the Lord and only the Lord. Self- recognition is highly over rated.

May God grace and peace find each of you today. And may you hold to the promise He has given you. If you can't remeber, ask Him. He will remind you with grace and love, the same way He gave it to you the first time.