Reflection

Reflection is always a tricky thing. One can sit and ponder a situation until they fall asleep or until their mind is so overwhelmed they have to stop. Or one can reflect and analyze with humility what could have been done differently. For me today I found myself reflecting on where I am. Wondering why I have ever chosen to complain for one minute. I have been given almost 9 years with a man who would do anything for me. Two children who fill my heart with their unconditional love and admiration for the little things I do. The forgiveness for the many things I don't do out of pre-occupation with whatever else is on my mind at the time. Friendships that are so deep they are a part of me. How could I ask for more?

Faced with the question if tomorrow doesn't come, have I loved or been loved? I have been loved more than I have loved. I have been given more than I could ever give back. And yet the Lord is not finished with me yet. He continues to plant desires as well as grow the ones he planted years ago. Recently I have been so overwhelmed by circumstance that my vision and gratitude has been clouded with frustration and fear. Neither of which are worth my time. It is too precious. It is too short. I do not have time to be frustrated or fearful. I only have time to remember the desires He has given, and the desires He is growing.

It is so important for us to reflect in the moment and not be distracted by the things floating around us that are sent to derail us. To scare us. To distract us from the things necessary. Our time is precious and can seem so short at the end of the day if we have filled it with meaningless tasks and duties. Rather than being intentional with our time and those in our life. Intentional with our talents and passions. Intentional with the plan that has been revealed thus far. We all have the same amount of seconds in the day, it is how we chose to give them away or spend them that is up to us.

I am not going to spit out a bunch of promises of what I am going to do but rather I am going to be real transparent, I am not going to spend them the way I have been for the past 4 years. I am going to strive with each day that I have to make tomorrow better than today. To spend my breath and energy building a future for my family that will last long after I am gone. Spend my time become the person Christ wants me to be that they may see me through His eyes instead of Him through mine. I will be grateful even for the moments of frustration for I know if there was not something worth fighting for there would be no enemy trying to steal it. Perfection is not required, only conscious and whole hearted effort.