Look past the box...

A year ago this month our life changed forever. We were parents of two happy little boys who before we knew it would each have to overcome their own struggles. Judah would learn and grow and move beyond his challenge, Bryce would begin a journey with Autism that up until last year he fought silently and alone. As a mom that moment you wonder if you could have been different? When you believe or plead that this is a mistake and you are going to blink or wake up and everything will be different...Then the reality, my son has Autism and he will have it for the rest of his life so what are we going to do to prepare him for this journey?

I remember a friend telling me as I cried on the phone that God gave me Bryce because He knew I would fight for him. "Leah you are the perfect mom for him and God will give you what you need." Words that I would remind myself of so many times over the year but then also ask "What is it that I need Lord?" The answer, acceptance and joy. I became a parent of a child with "special needs" a term I have grown to hate. Special Needs? Don't we all have special needs? Hasn't anyone ever looked at you like you are being ridiculous or silly? It is in that time you have a special need. Bryce just has a few more of those moments. But the things he brings to the world are the things I wish the world could see.

Bryce began kindergarten two weeks ago and he has struggled with the large environment and after a meeting with his teachers Bryce was clear that he was going home! I took Bryce across the hall and sat him on my lap as we played a little game we play a lot when he gets into a grumpy mood, and after a few moments Bryce began to laugh and smile. As his father walked him back across the hall his teacher looked at me with sadness in her eyes and said "We've never heard him laugh." "Well then you've never met Bryce." Was my response. My heart was crushed. A little boy who can't contain his laughter hadn't laughed in a full week. See that's what I want the world to know. I want them to know the Bryce that has a never ending giggle. A smile and dimples that brighten every morning. Joy and encouragement that make Hallmark cards look like post it notes. A little boy with an imagination that if written in a book would bring endless entertainment. Honesty that although abrupt can help me realize what I blindly want to ignore...

Autism is not something that has happened to a child or individual, it's a part of them. As much as the color of their hair or their eyes. It is not a flaw, it is not something to hide of be ashamed of. It takes effort and strength because instead of us changing just a little, we force them to fit in a box and they are looking for a circle. When other's ask us why he's different we respond by saying "He's Awesome with Autism."

If I could encourage or ask anything of others where Bryce is concerned it is not for him to be "healed" or without symptoms of Autism, but rather it would be that you look for the strength in my son. Strength that most of us adults do not hold. He has the strength to fight everyday to spread joy and encouragement, even when others look at him puzzled and without understanding. God has a purpose for Bryce as well. God equips him each day for His purpose and plan. God uses Bryce in the most innocent ways. Bryce does not need to be fixed or healed, Bryce needs to be loved and accepted. I for one am happy to look beyond the box and fit in his circle instead.