Day 2 of 40

As a parent it should come as no surprise that some of the biggest lessons I learn are through my children. They are also my largest frustrations. Yesterday I was met at the door with a screaming child, mine, and a frustrated teacher due to the behaviors. Then I was met with another spinning child and a frustrated parent, my husband. I proclaimed "I am done! I quit! I cannot take care of all the problems of this job and be a good mom. In that instant I felt like a plate spinning aimlessly in the air before crashing straight into a wall and shattering...

Why was this so hard? Why is my son so hard... because he just myself, is human. We need comfort and reassurance, some more than others. We crave direction, explanations, answers, and control. They is not one of us that wants to be that spinning plate. Knowing that I could not quit my life I had to take a moment and a deep breath and evaluate what was going on. I wanted to burst into tears like my 5 year old hoping I would feel better. Why? Because at that moment I wanted to be comforted so what did I do, I comforted my 5 year old. A little boy who just want to know things would be okay and he could have his cookie. Funny if I read that out loud but isn't that how we all are? Sometimes we just want God to let us know we are going to get our cookie.

Now onto the 7 year old who was pushing the limits. Why must he always push the limits! Because he is insecure and just wants to know that if he falls, we are going to be there to help him back up. A little boy who has ability beyond most is insecure? Again as I evaluate, I am insecure about every twenty minutes! I make a choice and then question it. I place things in my shopping cart, walk around the store for 45 minutes and talk myself out of every item I put in the cart! Yes we are all insecure! We all want to know that if we fall God is going to help us back up...

The reality is we should not be concerned with whether or not we are going to get our cookie. We should not be scared that if we fall God will not help us back up. He sent His son. The biggest cookie we could receive and the biggest pillow we could fall on. He gave everything to us. We are human and we are going to forget what we have. But for me it is in the crazy moments of life that I am reminded more than ever that Jesus has it. He has it all. This morning I stared at those two little boys and I thought, "I want so much more for you than the world's normal." And I imagine that is what God is whispering to me each day. "Leah, I want so much more for you than the world's normal." A feeling of peace come over to me as I type those words. A reminder that Jesus came so we would have more than the worlds normal.

Day 1 of 40

Over the next 40 days, during this time of lent, I want to make a conscious effort to reflect on the words God has given us. Today as I was reading through my devotions, the term "broken hearted" was themed through out. Having peace in the midst of a broken heart, knowing that Jesus came for the broken hearted. I love looking back through the old testament as well though and seeing how God came to the broken hearted. We do not have to be in a state of complete devastation to understand what it means to be broken hearted. To me it is simply being in a place where there is a lack of peace of circumstances either in our lives or the lives of those we love. Moses was broken hearted over the choices that he had made. Abraham and Sarah were broken hearted over the inability to have a child. King David was broken hearted over what he saw as disappointing the Lord. Daniel was worn and broken hearted in the lions den when the Lord appeared to him. Joseph was broken hearted over what he thought was the betrayal of his betrothed Mary. The disciples over the loss of Jesus, Paul the constant persecution he faced...

The list goes on and on. But the outcome remains the same in each situation. God met them where they were and took them through what would be the completion of His plan for them. God seeks the broken hearted. God heals the broken hearted. Out of each of these examples came great glory and encouragement to us all that in times when we are broken hearted, God is near. His plan is still very real and He will make himself known to comfort and encourage us.

I can't think of a better time to reflect on this then during this time of lent. Jesus had to be broken hearted for the people who refused to see and except the truth as it was literally staring them straight in the face. The reality is...we still do that today. Has his truth stared straight at you and in response you turn your head? Ignore it? Avoid it? During this season I want to embrace the truth of what Jesus has for me as He stares straight at me. I know that something may be hard to swallow but I also know the true depth of my heart is that God would receive glory through the way I live me life.

Glorious Unfolding

Do you fear who you are? I think sometimes we think that we need to have this perfect persona that others see. What if they really knew what happened inside of me? What would others say if they saw my house? My kids imperfections? My imperfections? My failures.... What if they did? I believe that others would be encouraged that they are not alone. This does not mean that we should not attempt to better ourselves. No this means that if we are honest with one another of who we truly are and what we truly want to be, others would see strength in possibility.

It is when we fold to the fear that others will judge us, that we fear change and possibility. God did not make us to be secretive, ashamed people. Nope. He made us for SO much more! He made us to thrive! To excel! To rise above circumstance, clutch tight to His hand and JUMP into the unknown, knowing He has brought you there and He is going to see you through.

I believe God brings us to the mirror so that we can see what He has made. Too many times we look in the mirror and we see what we don' like. What if you look for who God made you to be. Truly ask Him who He wants you to be. Perfect in His image and in constant communion with Him. "My child let me mold you. Let me clean the stains and fill you will light and joy. Can you see what I see?" ...I have come to understand that God does not think as the world thinks. He does not plan as we plan. He does not "see what happens" He already knows the outcome. So why do we fear being a work in progress? Why do we fear change? Because that is Satan's way of keeping you from the victory God has planned.

His plan and purpose is for you is a GLOURIOUS UNFOLDING. It always gets better. The story just gets better. He would never leave us in despair on purpose. You may be there for a moment but He always has a plan to get you out. Take heart my friends we serve a God of LOVE and a GIVING God. Hold on to His promise and shut out the neigh saying and the fear, It is NOT from God. He speaks Life and Hope.

A year ago today I wondered what life would hold in a week let alone would I be here in a year... How would we recover from this bump? Is this it? Friends, our life has never been so full of hope and life. We have been scared yes, but we are a family who knows God has more for each of us and if I can give you one last piece of hope. Stop settling for less than what God gives. We could have thrown in the towel, let our business fold because we didn't have time and just live the ordinary day to day but we didn't. We held tight to His hand, His promises, His desires He had placed in our hearts, and we kept believing this was not the end of the story. Let me just say Thank the Lord for His strength and gentle whispers to keep going. We are watching great changes in our life. We are listening and following one step at a time...